My first Commission: I'm a big kid now!

My first commission came from a gentleman in Glen Rose. It was a referral, which was very exciting. He didn't know me, but he trusted me and that felt good. As of this commission, I am a professional artist now!!
So, anywho, this guy wanted drawings of all the houses he and his wife had lived in so that he could frame them and give them to her for Christmas. I thought it was a sweet idea! I think they turned out well considering I'm not an architectural artist.

My Senior Show!!

It finally came!!! and went... I have been preparing for my senior show for four years and it went very well. I got all dressed up and took some mini cupcakes up to the gallery and enjoyed the evening. Lorann made her famous chicken salad dip with wheat thins! I spend most gallery receptions snacking on that, as it is the most delicious thing I have tasted on a wheat thin. Lots of important people came from the faculty and quite a few of my favorite people showed up. Lots of compliments on the entire show. It was really nice having such a variety of work there. I got quite a few compliments on my work. (I was suprised at which pieces turned out to be so popular!) My favorite pieces took second place to my old western genre. Aahh well. My husband, mother, sister, and six or seven friends attended, which made my night!

I had such a great time talking with everyone about the art and about my plans after graduation. It just lifts you up as an artist when people are interested in your art. A couple of bull riders talked to me for a while about one of my paintings... and even identified the person in one! haha. One of my favorite professors attended. I am so glad he got to see my artwork, I really admire him and his opinion. And after many student shows, I finally had an art student interview me about my work. (We're always told that students will ask us about our work, but it never happens!!!) Anyway! Here's a few snapshots from the evening.

These were the five paintings I elected to have shown.

My senior self-portrait. This is my baby. I am so proud of this painting!

Jenna Murray is my "bestie." She will be graduating in May and we were lucky enough to have the same senior show. I just know she's going to miss me!

I entitled this one "caiman belly." It's all about Brandon and his boots. I bought those boots for him on his birthday one year and he just loves them.

I called him "little man." I don't kiss everything in photographs, if you're wondering. This was kind of an inside joke for the art majors. The entire time I sculpted him I was in love with him, because he got better looking as time went on. Brandon was my model for this piece, so I would often talk to the sculpture and kiss it goodbye, you know, tell him to behave and not collapse from the humidity. Ha.

There is a certain relationship with clay sculpture pieces because they are so fragile...or maybe you just had to be there. A lot of my stories are like that. :)

what i've been up to

So, the senior show is coming up quickly. I plan to have three more large, detailed pieces done by then. Let's hope I get finished in time, or there'll be 'H' to pay. I finally got all the pieces of my current portfolio photographed and uploaded. These won't all make it into the show, but these are the latest pieces.

'Waste'- watercolor

I did this in two days. After being photographed, I decided to touch up a few spots so it doesn't look washed out. So there's still work to be done.

'bridal sketch 1'- pencil

Don't believe this one will make it in the show. There probably won't be enough room. It's a big show this year, so I will be limited as to what I can display.

This piece is just an idea of mine for a photoshoot I would like to do. It only took a few hours to do, so I'm not too proud of it. I like the concept, but it's not 'art' to me.

My art professors weren't even surprised that I had strayed from my western theme.

They really liked this piece, so it surprised me.

"Baby, I've Been Thinkin"-clay sculpture

Photograph doesn't do this one justice. It looks like a bronze in natural light. I worked the entire semester on this in the Spring and I'm happy with how it turned out. I still need to find a piece of wood that I like and stain it, so I have something to display it on.

Most definately going in the show.

(Too many hours invested not to include this piece.)

"All Eyes on Me"- Acrylic

This one will be in the show. I had it displayed in a Fort Worth Gallery Night last semester during the student show at Tarleton and was unable to display it at the school. I feel the need to display it even though it's going to get some touch-ups beforehand.

I tend to frame things and when I really look at them, I can see the mistakes.

When we hang the senior show, I will be sure to post my entire displayed portfolio. There will be a few new pieces and I'm not sure if it's going to be a cohesive collection. Like I've said in the past, I'm juggling two different portfolios at once, so the challenge its tying them together.

Ta! ta! Off to paint now.

rain rain go away... I need sunlight in my studio!

graduation is quickly approaching.
research is due.
paintings to get done...

I must confess I have wasted the weekend. Restricted to the house by the cold rain, I have neglected my responsibilities to sit here in my fat pants watching two seasons of 'friends.' My portfolio will get finished in due time.

Worked forty-five minutes on my roper's hands... "his hands look fuzzy"... can't get the positioning defined. Chris Ireland planted a seed of doubt in my mind and now I can't bring myself to resolve the painting, because of those stupid "fuzzy" hands. I sometimes wish I didn't have to get advice from my professors. I feel great about my art and then they point out the obvious. IE: "his hands look fuzzy."

I am going insane.

Absolutely giddy at the thought of my cousin, Josh's, upcoming nuptuals. I get to shoot them! I've been in two weddings this year and have been restricted to Maid of honor duty. But not for this. No restrictive taffeta dress or numbing heels to wear. No make-up bags or shoes or phones or purses to carry for the bride. No toasts, no being confined to a room while everyone gathers and no standing at the altar, holding two bouquets. nope.... I just get to observe and document.

Aaaaaaahhhhh.......... my calling.

McKenna will be there. growing rapidly... and being cute as always... I'm sure I'll sneak more than a few shots of my perfect little niece. That's what this is all about: babies growing, people changing and unifying lives. Everything changes. There are only opportunities to get that perfect shot. The shot that will remind you of a time.... remind you of how you were in that moment.

But, I digress. I won't go chasing rabbits through the voids of my mind. That we will save for another day. For now, I'm going to log off and enjoy watching my husband sleeping in his favorite chair. His mind is at ease. There is no work to be done, no worries to think on. He's just laying there. Pumpkin at his side, looking up at Daddy occasionally from her nap to see if he's awake yet.

In Preparation

Well I went to take my senior portraits with Becky the other day.I realize it's a little early, but I wanted to get them done while the weather is still nice and the grass is green. I think they turned out nice! After sorting through the five hundred we took I selected my favorites and made my announcements. Here are my favorites:

This one is a nice shot. I don't think I'm going to use it though.

I love the angles of this one! Plus it shows my fun side, it's more 'me' than the others.

This is my favorite! Symmetry is dead on and I really like the color. I decided to use this one on my announcements!

I am looking forward to putting on an old pair of jeans, laying in the dirt and shooting OTHER people now! Got mine out of the way. Put me in Coach, I'm ready to play!

waiting for my hair to dry

So, I've taken the advice of our new art professor at tarleton and I have just dealved into meditation on what it is that inspires me. What I love, what I don't love and what I want to talk about in my art. This applies not only to my paintings, but my photography as well. I've always known what my art was about, but had trouble explaining it, so here it is:

I am a hopeless romantic at heart, I love vintage things and I admire the lifestyles of those who have come before me. I admire their spirit, their simplicity and their ability to enjoy life without newer techonologies. The lifestyles of people in farming and rural communities inspires me. Not just the cowboys, but the wife that cooks a meal for her family, the waitress at the cafe downtown, or anyone who enjoys a simplistic life.

Now, my art is not just about those happy times and these simple communities of people. It is also about the advancement of technology and the loss of those "good old days." I want to encompass the insensitive take-over of those perfect lives. My work mourns the loss of community, the loss of people with simple dreams and the loss of the beauty of simplicity.

Therefore, in context my artwork can't be put into a 1940's setting. The loss hasn't occured yet. I know my surroundings and this ideal is a reflection of my fealings about the present. Not all of these communities are gone. The spirit still remains in small rural towns. Those are my backgrounds. The laundry matt, the cafe, the barber shop and the settings of childhood. Those backgrounds and settings reflect that good old spirit, but in many cases, I depict them as worn and old. They are being lost as we speak, and eventually, those locations will be lost: torn down for a new idea, a starbucks or a walgreens.

This leads me to the focal point of my art: the individual. The individual reflecting back on life. Thinking about loss and the advancement into the future. With my photography, I will be focusing on those "how we were" moments. Years later, they'll look back and see what has been lost, what has changed essentially. The individual is the significant aspect of my artwork. Although the settings are important and the context of the image matters a great deal, I want the viewers to focus on the individual and their life, because it is significant in time. We all are. And if I can focus my viewers on identifying with that individual for a moment, I will have allowed them to experience something lost and identify with my purpose. We need to pause in this period of advancement to reflect on life and its purpose.


Now that I have dealved off into the intense thinkings of my artisitic mind and allowed you insight to my soul, I'll log out so that I can finish drying my hair. It's labor day and my husband is wondering what is for lunch.

I wanna do what I wanna do!

Why is it that we all think it's such a challenge to get what we want in life? It can't be that hard. There are people out there that have it. And you know what? They didn't start off with a lot of money or business connections. Sure, the economy is bad and it takes two incomes to run a household and the nation is in debt, but chasing a dollar is not what I had in mind when I graduated from high school and set off to make my way in the world. My husband constantly tries to figure out a way to strike it rich, but it seems the only way to make it is to work hard, be passionate about what you're doing and have a financial strategy.

As I am approaching graduation, I have been struggling the last two years trying to decide what I want and how to get it. At the end of the day all that matters is family and the impact you had on the lives of others. I guess I'm lucky because those are the two things I want in life. I want a decent home with comfortable furnishings in a nice town with small-town mentality. I want a healthy family that loves each other and I want to make an impact on the lives of others through my art. (For now, I've decided to do this through photography and if it takes the form of painting later on, then great!)

Simple, right? I don't want much...the majority of the population has families and homes and careers. If they are unhappy, that's their mindset. Maybe they are looking to the wrongs things for happiness. I already have happiness in my life. I've been knocked down so many times financially and even though we struggle, I am blissfully happy. I love coming home to my husband. I love picking up after him. I love going to school and learning. I love the idea of what is to come in our life together. So, now that I've established that I'm happy and I have goals the idea is to figure out a way from point A to point B and still remain happy and enjoy every day as it comes.

My husband and I would ideally like to have a home before we bring children into this world. We want a stable life for our children and that seems like the first step. So, in order to attain my priority of having a family, we need to work towards getting a home. And the way to get a home is to 1. figure out where we want to live and 2. get some money together. We have no money for a down payment on a home at the moment, but we are working towards paying off our debts. In order to save for a home we need capital, which brings me to the launching point of this plan: my career.

I am starting my photography business. The equipment is expensive and we are sacraficing a lot to invest in my future, but if I do well with this venture, we will eventually be able to afford the things we are sacraficing right now (our honeymoon, new furniture, among other things.) I am determined to make this work. I have been learning and researching the business, I have already started networking and have a few portraits sessions set up already and I almost have my art degree, which will help tremendously.

I could go on about my business plans, but I won't. It will be slow to start and eventually I'll have a career on my hands. The point is I have been very confused the last few months about what I want to do with my art and I have finally made a decision. I'm positive it's the right one. And the way I know its the right one is because: 1. I'm good at it, 2. It's what I started out wanting for college (but got scared out of) and 3. I am so passionate about this.

The house and family will soon come in due time, but for now I feel like I have arrived at the precipice of my young adult life. I have struggled and fought with my mind and my heart for the last few years about my career choice and whether I wanted a career or not. I can be a good mom and still express myself artistically. I can be successful financially with something I am passionate about. And, what I have struggled with mostly: it is not important if I disappoint my art professors with my decision to pursue photography rather than painting. I am the one living with the decisions I am making today. Thirty years from now when I look back at this moment, I want to be able to say "I made the right decision. I went after what I wanted instead of trying to please someone that was a large influence in my life for a short time." This may serve as a slap in the face to my art mentors, but if they want to see me blossom as an artist, it is best that I pursue what I love and what I never get tired of.

It may seem as though this is a trivial matter: one's career choice, but as an artist, it is a huge decision. I yearn to express myself, I want to influence the lives of others, and mainly: I want to live a meaningful life. I want to be happy and at the end of the day be able to say that I do something I love, I am surrounded by people that I love and that I have made a life of wonderful memories for myself and for my loved ones. And now that I have recorded the anguish I have mentally and spiritually endured the last few years and come to a positive and actively engaging conclusion, I feel so much better. I have a plan. I have goals in my life and I will attain them.

Out with the old

Today's task is to sketch and resketch my new watercolor painting. I have finally decided what to do with my $18 sheet of watercolor paper. The new piece consists of a diner and a bride. I am going to do my best to combine my art portfolio with my future photography portfolio. I am sick of painting mundane images of cowboys and things that I see everyday. I want to incorporate new ideas into my artwork. I want to make art.

For the last three years I have focused entirely on creating a cohesive portfolio for Tarleton (consisting of nothing but cowboys) and I have neglected to make ART. Therefore the art I create this final semester will reflect my roots (vintage settings) and the statements I want to make as a photographer.

I am anxious to get started on these ideas, so that's all.